OATS: something is wrong with you at a molecular level, and the thing that is wrong with you is that instead of liquid blood, it’s oats. except it’s not just your blood. All of you is made of oats. when you walk, oats just flake off you. when you get hit, oats explode off your body into the air. when you consume boiling water, you can turn into a puddle of sentient oatmeal. it takes you 1 hour to reconstitute yourself into human form. if bits of you get separated while in oatmeal puddle form, when you reconstitute, you have an appropriate amount fewer HP until you can rest and regrow your oats. eating oats does not make you stronger